So today I want to talk about the concept of defining your success. Those of you who follow me know I’ve been running a goal setting class and my mission with that is to really help people get a smart start to 2018. Over the past 6 and a half years, I’ve watched so many people fail at setting goals and taking actions. At the end of the year they’re frustrated and full of regret that they didn’t take action sooner. But in order to take action, you need to know why you want to do whatever it is that you’re doing!!
Step 1: What does success look like to me?
One of the biggest things I’ve watched people do in this process of owning and defining your success is this: they don’t know what success looks like to them!! So the first step is actually asking yourself the question: what does success look like to me?
We work in a society where we are constantly given a benchmark, a quota, a dangling carrot that we’re supposed to reach. We have an income we need to meet or a certain number of people we’re supposed to bring in to our organization. We qualify for trips and we qualify for events. No matter what organization you’re working for, everything has a deadline. Everything has a benchmark. But if you don’t reach that benchmark or qualify for that trip, is that a predictor of your future success? NO!
You might be striving for this goal that everyone told you meant success – but when you reach it, it feels empty. You’re not filled with joy or excited – is this what you were working for?
Maybe that’s not what your definition of success actually looked like. You do not need to base your worth and your success off of someone else’s measurements (unless that fulfills you)!! Sit down and think about it: what makes you happy? Is it recognition on stage? Is it income? Is it helping others live a healthy lifestyle?
So find that thing and go for it. Let’s say you want to make $5000 a week. That’s great – but WHY? I want you to say “I want to make $5000 a week BECAUSE…” Fill in the blank. Because that means by the end of the year I will have paid off 80% of my debt. Or that means I will be able to buy a new car or book that vacation. This is how you define your success based on things that motivate you.
Step 2: Forget what other people think
Put on your blinders! Other people’s success does not matter!
It’s so easy to look around and think your success is determined by someone else’s measurements. Try not to get stuck in the comparison game. Don’t let your vision of success become clouded by what other people are doing.
Who cares what your spouse or your mom or your best friend says? If they are the ones defining your success, are they also going to be the ones who pay your bills?! They certainly are not! So for me one of the biggest things was telling myself that I did not care what other people thought about what I was doing. I share what I am doing and invite people to join me because I love it!! If you don’t like what I’m doing, let me show you where the unfollow button is! I can’t pay my bills with your opinions.
Don’t feel like you need to validate your definition of success or explain yourself. Don’t apologize for your goals – own them!!
Step 3: Get specific
In my vision board training I talked about this concept of visualizing how you want to spend your time. Where do you want to be? Who do you want to be with? How much money do you need to get there?
For me, when I first started my business, that specific success for me was earning a trip to Disney for my boys. I’ve talked about this a lot, but I went so far as to print out an image of the Magic Kingdom and hung it above my desk. I made it the screensaver on my phone. I could see it SO clearly and I believed that I was going to get there, no matter what it took.
That’s what drove me to do the right activities each day to grow my business. I didn’t let it paralyze me because I wanted to succeed more than I wanted to fail.
Step 4: Ask again – what does success look like to me?
Has it changed since you started reading this? Have you realized your definition of success is actually someone else’s? Time to reflect.
Step 5: Make it happen
Don’t let fear paralyze you. Don’t let the start stop you! This simple concept of defining your success is not the end all. You have a decision to make: you can sit here and try to develop the perfect plan, or you can understand that reality is the truth. Put your perfection aside and find out what you need to do to make success happen.
Focus on the daily tactical actives that you can track. At the end of every month, every day, every week, you can look back and say to yourself, am I on track? Am I accountable? Am I waiting on someone else to motivate me or am I going out and getting it done?
The other thing is that you need to check negativity at the door. If you want to make your goals happen, you have to stop blaming other people for your lack of success. Remember this: your success is entirely up to you. It is not dependent on anyone else.
So if you haven’t defined your success, I want you to do this activity. The reason you haven’t accomplished your goals isn’t anyone else’s problem but yours. Go through these five steps and lay out what success really means to YOU. Get out your journal and highlight some key things that pop out to you and get clear on your definition of success.
Don’t worry that it’s the middle of January! Your 2018 is not wasted. You still have 11 months to define and reach your goals. It starts with clarity in what you want. Take ownership and trust the process!!!